Growing up seems appealing and exciting when you are young, but when you finally do and reality sets in, your perspective changes regarding many aspects. I remember when I was young, I had a family relative who was a couple of years older than me, and I would look up to her for the sole reason that she was older than me, and I could not wait to grow up and be like her.
Years passed, I am twenty now, and I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self, “Please do not glorify growing up; it is not what you think it is.”
Society plays a crucial role in how we feel about ourselves and our lives because we constantly want to satisfy these expectations that are set for us. While for a teenager, it is easy to slide past those expectations and use our adolescence to our advantage, but as soon as the word “teen” disappears from our age, that is when the weight drops on our shoulders.
One of society’s unrealistic expectations is, for instance, for students to be confident of their chosen major that they applied for or are studying; however, people constantly change, and so do their interests; expecting someone to be sure of what their career will be for the rest of their life is unreasonable. As a result, many students are looked down upon when they do not pursue a career that they studied for in college. The truth is that your major can guide you, but it does not define you or your future career.
Alumni Liana Jamharyan from the French University of Armenia, who has studied Finance with a specialization in banking and insurance, speaks about her thoughts while asked whether she was aware of the pressures society enforces on young adults by saying, “Yes, especially when it comes to education and a job after graduation” and her advice to other people in their twenties is that “While getting a job, do not listen to other people, even those who work at the company you work for. Because they might tell you you will not make progress in your chosen career, but that is not always true; I was the only one among my colleagues who received a promotion in less than a year.” Consequently, Liana learned to be more independent and trust her decisions more while being open to making mistakes.
Forming a family or settling down is not a priority for everyone, and that is completely okay; however, many people think of it as a setback that should be dealt with immediately. Yet, another approach that the opposite side has is that being in your twenties is all about discovering who you are as a person or who you want to be and if that means delaying forming a family or changing careers, so be it.
The dependency on parents or guardians is looked down upon for reasons that society justifies as lacking independence or financial stability, two essential qualities that one cannot achieve overnight. Amaisa Gharbeigi, an undergraduate student who majored in Aviation Business Administration at California Aeronautical University, weighs in about the pressures he faced by saying, “Now that I’m 22, I’m always pressured by family to start dating, and in my life, dating is the least of my concerns, I have other priorities and accomplishments to fulfill.” Amaisa also talks about the significant lessons he learned from life, “Make the decision that scares you the most because fear is temporary, but regret is eternal,” and most importantly, he says, “How big would you dream if you knew you would not fail” and concludes his thoughts by saying others’ opinions do not define nor represent you, consequently live a life that makes you proud.
Life moves fast and does not wait for anyone, and that indicates that we all have a limited amount of time to make the most of it and make as many mistakes as possible. Every day is a new learning opportunity and a clean slate to start fresh, and even if we fail, it should not discourage us. Ultimately, as one of my dear friends told me, “Do not be scared to mess up, be scared to stop trying.” The secret is there is no set deadline for anything because everyone is on their separate journey, and we must trust the process and not be hard on ourselves because the expectations that society has designed for young adults are not designed to fit everyone’s path.
